Out of the ordinary

It has been a fairly unusual week, for practically noting interesting has happened.

Firstly, my home computer finally died. It has given me 6 years of good service and was already making horrible noises for the past half a year.. so this was to be expected. However, I did not run to replace it, but rather decided to live without a computer at home for a while. A week to begin with seemed reasonable.

Secondly, I spent the whole Monday and Tuesday in the library, reading. 100 pages/day of a textbook on security.

Thirdly. I have done next to no real work. Okay, I have drafted up a few ideas about my future, but otherwise, it has all been pretty laid back. Calm.

The strange thing is that its the first time in my life when I actually feel I need to slow down. I have known it rationally before, but this time, its not something I feel I should do, but actually something I want to do. That I have something to gain, to learn, from not running forward but just standing still.

So what do I hope to gain, really? Get my priorities in order and figure out which of my problems are imaginary and which ones are actually real. Deal with only the stuff that needs to be addressed as opposed to mindlessly running around trying to make everything better. Accept the world as it is for the most part, for only then is there real hope of improvement.

Nights can still get pretty bad though and I regularly have trouble falling asleep. Thankfully, it's usually all better in the morning.