I hurt Myself Today

I fell for the second time this year with my bike. Tore my pants and my knee in both cases, but nothing too bad.

I've been reading up on microeconomic theory this semester - first, MIT video lectures on microeconomics and now a book on Incentives. The main model in the latter is the utility function balancing effort at work with leisure time. Makes one think.

M. put it very well today, when I mentioned in passing that next semester is going to be hell for me: "You have done "Working yourself to death" to death already. You need to come up with something better if you want a reaction." So, instead of complaining how everything is out of balance, I should probably start accepting the fact that I actually want it that way (at least on some level - since it seems to be a stable equilibrium) and stop complaining.

A year ago, when I started as a curriculum manager, I believed that huge change could be brought about in a year by making a few bigger changes. Today, in talking with one of my bosses, I realized that my view has since shifted. I still believe big change to be possible and that I have played a role in bringing it about, but I now also understand that its not about huge changes that make a drastic difference but much more about many smaller things each of which is barely noticeable but which together tend to add up.

I have also come to understand just how much inertia big systems tend to have, so in university, for the effects to be visible, it takes time. Not good in terms of job satisfaction if you're the impatient kind. I am.

Example of a little thing: I have recently been analyzing student graduation data and yesterday, I managed to fit a model that seems to be able to quite accurately predict the percentage of graduating for each student after the first year of their studies. There are about 10 students each year whose scores fall in the 40-60% i.e. who need to pull their act together if they are to graduate. I'm hoping that if we start informing them of this fact, they will be more inclined to do so and instead of just 5 of them graduating, we might get 1-3 extra. As I said - small things, but they do tend to add up.

Somewhat melancholic today, and in a mood to ruminate about it. I get that every now and then, and I suppose that to a degree it is okay, assuming I don't sink completely and hopelessly into it. Thankfully, I have managed to surround myself with people who just don't let me - and I thank you all for that. But for now, I want a few hours in my bubble...

Student days

Nearly a month without posting again. Initially due to too much work, now due to not enough. Yes, least for me there is a hair-thin sweet spot - too little and I start feeling guilty, too much and I get exhausted.

Anyways, last week has been pretty nice.

Student days started with a night singing festival, which I attended with my girlfriend (TK from now, as T. is taken) and which was very enjoyable - partly because I love singing but partly because the person I was with seemed to do the same.

The next day one of my friends called me and asked me to join her at night orienteering competition. It was unexpected but I gladly joined her. The night (which started at 9 and ended at 3) was quite enjoyable, me mostly cycling around to get the further-out points while my two team-mates walked to the ones closer by. TK briefly joined us, but then had to get back home to study and sleep.

On saturday, I had yet another team event planned: student extreme. This involved spraying onlookers with cold water from a hose, being tossed around in a wooden wheel and then climbing inside a 45 degree pipe with people tossing water on us from above. After this hell of an ordeal, the team split up - me having to go through yet another pipe, this time horizontal, but spinning on its axis. Thakfully, this did not require any arm strength and so I made it through and past the finish line - not feeling my arms and being wet from the water thrown in the first pipe. My teammates had both taken an opportunity to swim in the river, though - and oh how I envied them.

A quick change of clothes at home (I forgot to bring a spare to the event) and then I was off to a birthday party of a collaegue. Most of the night was spent talking to R.E. and T.T., who met there face to face first time).

Sunday evening, I had Indrek and K. come over. They brought cake.

Monday, I dragged myself to work, but did not really get much done there. At some point I decided to call it a day and we went for a bike ride with T.K. - nice weather, beautiful nature and towards the end - sun setting. Idyllic. She confessed that at the moment, everything in her life was as she wanted - and I conceded the same for myself.

After sending her off to her place, I cycled back to the office, then home and then off to L. for a barbacue celebrating the beginning of spring. The remnants of the cake found their quick and satisfying end, and the evening ended with playing with fire - literally (but thankfully not getting burnt yet).