India - Day 18

I hate goodbyes. Dave and Alex left today for their round trip of India (2 months). Thankfully, Brits are (supposedly) just as bad at saying important stuff as Estonians are. Just before leaving, Alex told me of his uncle, who has proposed to his wife by just leaving a ring and a note "will you marry me" for her to find.. and had gotten no reply other than the fact that the woman was wearing the ring the next day. Actually, kind of cute when you think about it.

One of the computers at school is completely virus-ridden and will probably need a clean reinstall. The trouble with windows is that even if you have a legal CD key, it can be a pain in the ass to find the appropriate CD for it. Not to mention the trouble of installing it. But the people at the school are really nice. Especially the head mistress (principal) of the school Lavanya, who I have been told is just a little older than I am. When the power went down, I sat down to read a book, but then I was asked to do it in their classroom.. which is kind of weird, but I have sort of gotten used to the odd customs here. I took a look at one of the textbooks they were using and it was in English. That was quite unexpected for me, as the children seemed quite young (10?) and to my understanding, the English skills of even the teachers are quite poor (except Lavanya, whose english is by no means perfect but quite good for a non-native speaker).

I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of my life lately. I do not find my research meaningful, sadly. Teaching at the university fares somewhat better on that scale so I will probably try to continue with that as well. However - doing both of these simultaneously is what drove me to the edge in the first place. Then again, there seem to be no good obvious alternatives.

My hopes of recovering whilst being here have not really come true. If anything, some things have gotten worse. Maybe because I am forced to deal with some things I was running away from before. However, I am not really dealing with them either, or rather am trying but not succeeding.