and I'll never see the end.
So I wither,
and render myself helpless;
I give in, and everything is clear;
I break down,
and let the story guide me.
I break down,
and let the story guide me.
- "Wither", Dream Theater
After the debate on Tuesday, I basically collapsed. A part of me apparently figured now there would be less stress and things to do so that it is ok to relax and take it easier... well, sadly, that part was somewhat mistaken (which is why I am at work on such a fine Saturday).
Depressive thoughts still haunt me every now and then. This morning, for instance. But I'm getting better at handling them.
So - what helps in my case? Just accepting the situation. The fact that I am sad and withering. And that it is in fact me who is rendering myself helpless. Giving in, basically - not panicking and looking for a solution but acknowleging that in the short term, there isn't anything I really can do. Breaking down, and just letting things go as they will, so to say, letting the story guide me, without trying to manage everything.
Or maybe it is just the nice weather outside. Most probably both.
And maybe it really is a hint that you push yourself way too much. Sometimes it is wise to step down and see for yourself that the world will keep on turning even if you're not trying to operate all the levers :)
ReplyDeleteYes, quite possibly...
ReplyDeleteActually my current job is the perfect place to learn to let go of wanting to be on top of everything. There are so many things to do there is no way I could do them all even if I wanted to. And it will probably keep turning without me too.
So yes, maybe it is for the better if I slowed down a bit...