Saturday, November 19, 2011

Masks

Two things I have started to notice increasingly more often in the past few weeks:

1) My throat is sore after speaking, often even after brief conversations. I presume the reason is using a different pitch and/or timbre of voice to what I normally use.

2) A set of mimic muscles in my face also tense up after conversations, and are often quite hard to relax afterwards. The muscles, when tense, seem to be producing a slight, condescending smile.

Both are most probably defense mechanisms - used to keep a fair social distance, because I do not have resources left to risk letting new people close to me.

Again confirming my suspicions I really need to start working to get my life on track in terms of energy levels. For now, I am greatly thankful for the few close friends I do have.

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