"You've developed from a likeable, retarded young man into an arrogant, self-centered, antisocial bastard."

Quote from "Flowers for Algernon", which really is exactly what I needed to read right about now. Quite a bit of the book is all too familiar, including the quote I chose as the title of this post.

That's what you get, when you have a sharp divide between intellectual and emotional development. A scared and confused little child trying his best to deal with stuff he is not equipped to handle. Wondering aimlessly through the streets, pushing himself to work and engaging in self-destructive behaviour. All this is a bit too close to home at this point.

Sad thing is there is really nothing I can do to make things any better. Such confusion and pain is probably the only way for the emotionality to cope with the divide - doing its best to catch up, but feeling its inadequacies every step of the way.

At least the book helps me accept all this as natural. Not that there is anything natural in the situation. But, as in the book - there is just one way and it is forward.