Insanity defense

So what has happened over the past week?

Spent most of the week with a girl. Including my birthday. Got one of the best birthday presents I have yet to receive in my life. The next day my new roommate arrived in Tartu and moved in. Then I celebrated my birthday with my non-colleague friends, spending half the day cooking Japanese food and the other half playing Alias and just chatting with my friends.

Trouble is, I haven't been doing work- or school-related things. Or well, not nearly at the pace I should be doing them. I had an exam this morning, and although I probably passed, I am doing so with about half the amount of studying I would normally have put into it.

Not that I am saying that I spent my time doing the wrong things but rather that the priorities have somewhat shifted, and it will take some coping. This week promises to be pretty busy as well, but I hope to get a bit more studying done for the two remaining exams.

From February onward, I have relatively little duties, so I should get my priorities straight. This is my first attempt.

* Relationships come first. Especially the one with the aforementioned girl, but my friends are not too far behind.

* Reading. Both security and psychology related things, with (hopefully) a little fiction on the side as well...

* Work - I have a course to give practice sessions to, but other than that, I have no real duties. I will consider taking on some with a project in Cybernetica, but it depends on the details.

* Bass playing - it is progressing, and noticeably, and if I keep up the practice, it will keep on doing so with reasonably high probability. Last attempt at "Californication" by our band sounded pretty good already...

* Taiji - definitely taking a backseat to everything else, but I do want to keep it in my life

After the exams are over and my PhD thesis is presented for approval, my first immediate goal is to restore myself. Because I have all the symptoms of overworking - which is quite akin to clinical depression.

"Depression is fairly easy to diagnose, because a person who is depressed looks like he is depressed and will usually tell you that he is so when asked.", they taught us in university.
The three main symptoms that should be present for the latter to be diagnosed are:
* Decreased mood (sadness)
* Decreased motivation (tiredness)
* Decreased pleasure in activities (anhedonia)

Although there is no sign of the first (subjectively), the second two are clearly present, and indeed two of the three qualify for a minor depressive episode, if you also add a bunch of secondary symptoms.

Not that I want to say I am depressed. I'm not. Not in the classic sense, anyways, since on a rational level, everything is better than it has been for a VERY long time and everything seems to be moving on an upward slope. Its just that I'm having trouble enjoying it to the full extent because everything just feels as though looking through a thick fog - distant and hazy.

"Like being drunk", my new roommate commented. And I kind of have to agree.

In any case, Ill try to figure out how to start seeing the world clearly again.

And once I do - beware (6)