I've watched all the dropouts, who make their own rules

R. called me today at half to one at night. Since I had had a lot of coffee and had not seen him for a while, I went to his work to have a chat with him.

A single phrase he said made me nearly speechless for half an hour. Or well, made me take a time-out to think it though, because it had a lot of implications to my current affairs.

The phrase: You just make a decision and then live with it.

Not all there is to it, of course. Or not the firs time I hear (or even discuss) the idea. Just - the right thing to emphasise at this point in my life. Too right...

Basically, it is true that some decisions need long and careful deliberation. However, quite often it is that same deliberation that makes one worse off - because if you ever reach a conclusion, you will always have the clear picture of all the other possible choices in the head. And you cannot help but wonder if the decision you made was the right one or if there was a better one available. Especially when new and unfavorable information becomes available to you about the choice you made. And it inevitably will. For nothing and no-one is ever perfect.

These what ifs can drive a person mad. Especially if you are the perfectionist type who wants to optimise everything.

However, the reality is that all the choices have their flaws, and the one you made is usually not the wrong one - if not for any other reason then simply due to the fact that there is no sense of absolute wrong, and only you are in charge of classifying it as such if you choose to do so.

It makes no sense to doubt the decisions made. They were made at a certain time and place and with a certain reason. If needed, they can be changed by new decisions, but a decision once made cannot be remade different. Kind of like how you cannot step into the same river twice, for the river of life always moves on.

I look back on my life without any regrets, and with confidence that the decisions I have recently made and are yet to make are the right ones.

After all, I have control on what I label as right or wrong.